Thursday, July 26, 2012

Prejudice at the Doctor

     At this point it has been an extremely long time since I wrote for this blog.  To those of you who were reading I am very sorry.  Life took over and I really just let the blog go.  But something happened the other day that I just have to share.
     I took Elizabeth to her regular pediatrician as a follow up.  We had been to see another Pediatrician the night before because Elizabeth had a fever, was congested, and was having a hard time breathing.  Now her regular pediatrician is in a group practice and there are four or five doctors on staff.  This day we saw a doctor we had seen before, but it's not the one we usually go to see.  This Doctor's bedside manner needs a little work, but I have never been uncomfortable around her and I think she is a top notch doctor. 
     During the exam there was a little debate between the Doctor and myself, that I let go because it was not important and was only making me frustrated.  When the exam was over and we left the examination room the Doctor was at the nurses desk making a comment to her nurses about how she hates it when moms cannot bring the kid to the doctor, and now she has to deal with a Dad who does not know enough about what is going on with the child to be helpful. At this point I cannot tell you word for word what was said, but there was a lot more said in a very short time, and my name was used during the conversation. 
     I heard easily 98% percent of the conversation was right behind the Doctor when my name was used.  I did my best to stay calm but I did feel like I needed to say something.  So I started in about how she had a right to her opinion, but that in this case I am a stay at home Dad, and I'm the one who brings her to the Doctor, and I'm the one who can regurgitate her entire medical history, and how her comments were rude and uncalled for.  ( For the record, my wife is perfectly capable of doing these things as well, and would do equally as good a job as I do, but since I'm home I just deal with it more frequently)  Lets just say I gave her what for.  I got a quick apology that I said was not enough and I walked away.  As I was checking out at the front desk I left a note for the head of the practice, and then on the way home I called the head of the practice and left a message.     
     The issue has since been resolved, and even though I have debated leaving this practice and going somewhere else, I do not feel it the smartest thing to do for Elizabeth.  Until this incident I have been so extremely happy with the quality of care we have received at this practice that I normally tell other parents that this is the best practice around.  I even gave a member of the staff a gift recently.  I know that I should not have to put up with ignorance like that, and I have no intention of putting up with it.  I feel the issue has been resolved and I'm confident that we will never have any problems from this point on.

     So to all the stay at home parents out there who take a little crap for working their butts off raising their children, you are not alone.  After the way this particular incident was handled, and resolved, I think we can put a win in our column.

Maybe now that I have written something, I'll come back to blogging.


  1. Way to go Ben! I know how it is when Julia and Grace were babies I did most of the motherly stuff, confused alot of people, but they love their Daddy no matter what the mother

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